2nd

More than a week ago I unblocked you from my chat list, because I thought that after more than a month since our break-up, I am okay with everything. Well, I did not totally unblock you. There were times that I would show myself, and talk to you when you start talking to me. But the times when I did block you, it took a huge amount of self-control not to unblock you again. Oftentimes, my desire to talk to you conquers my will not to.

I guess after more than a month, I should really be okay. I mean, I have already accepted the fact that we are no longer together, and that you would never ever come back to me. And that there is someone else out there for me and he's not you. And since I have accepted all these, I can now be friends with you. We were friends before we started being a couple and you treated me well and you were honest...so I see no reason not to be friends with you.

Then you wrote me a letter.

Asking me, how I was...that it had been too long since we last talked.
Asking me if I was avoiding you, because I am not ready to be friends and all.

I didn't reply, but that letter shook me a little bit.

I cannot stop thinking about it. Part of me is saying that said letter meant nothing, and that you were just being your usual nice and thoughtful self. But part of me was saying that you missed me, or you missed talking to me...and that part has got me all distracted all week.

Then we talked for a bit during the weekend. It was really nice talking to you...but, we were like friends and strangers at the same time.

Our conversation made me realized how much I really missed you...and that I am so not over you.

Then you disappeared again. Didn't see you online for a few days.

It took a huge amount of self-control (again!) not to email you and ask how you were.

Then you sent me an email...again. Asking me how I was.

Then you caught me online. And comforted me that night (I was feeling scared because of the super typhoon that hit our country). And you were sweet and sent me all these songs, just like you used to when we were still together.

*Sigh*